Recently, I jotted down a random thought that came to mind while I was sitting in my cubicle, bemoaning another day at a job I have no passion for. I wrote the following:

“I want to be an active participant in my own life”

At first, that statement seemed to make no sense to me, but as I really thought about it, it seemed to make all the sense in the world. For too long, I’ve been going with the flow, letting life, in a sense, pass me by. There are times when I’m so unhappy, but yet I do nothing about it. I guess it’s easier to complain rather than taking that leap- that leap which could lead to a giant failure or a wonderful success. And the strangest part about it? That I’m not sure what I’m more scared of- failure or success.

Fear has always been the driving factor in my life. Whether it be the fear of being alone, of being the outcast, of making soemone else unhappy with my decisions or actions- fear has usually been in the drivers seat when my mind went about making decisions or choices when it came to my life. The problem is that I can do it no longer. I can’t let fear keep me from living the life I want to lead. The life where I find my passion and break free from a career where I’m not using my brain, my personality or my skills. The life where I can sit alone in silence without having to listen to the nagging voices of doubt when I go about making a decision. The kind of life I’ll look back on without regret.

It’s time to stop going through the motions for the sake of not stirring up my fears. It’s time to live a little (no, a LOT!), to be an active participant in my own life.